It just wasn’t meant to be Johnny
By John Santomasso
The oft used mantra in suspected cases of malfeasance, be they corporate, political, or otherwise is, “Follow the Money.” Gaining prominence in the Nixon-era, this is the only reason that I can come up with to explain the Democratic Party’s self-immolation. I just can’t bring my self to believe that the party is collectively as stupid as it currently appears to be. There has to be someone financing this farce. Don’t you think?
I mean, think about it. What else could conceivably be at play here? I’m not even saying that this is a “Rovian” (as in Karl) endeavor; rather we’re doing it to ourselves via the two campaigns involved. This is going to be the train wreck of all train wrecks. I see a new college level course coming out of this — “The Demise of the Democratic Party 101”.
Coming off, arguably (though not to me), the worst administration in American History, the Democratic Party is blazing a path to their own obscurity not even Sacajawea could have found. Watching GWB take the United States down the path to world irrelevance is bad enough, but to see the Dems, through their own ineptitude, attempt to pass the torch to McCain (Thanks Bill) it’s just too much to bear.
But being ever the optimist, I can still come up with a scenario that will extricate us from this mess. All it will take is for one “adult” within the ranks of the Democratic Party to step up and shine the light on the path to enlightenment. “An adult, an adult, my kingdom for an adult! Ay, there’s the rub.”
Maybe we can get someone who plays an adult on TV. How about Sam Waterston? Imagining Sam playing this role, this is what he might say:
“We have had, lain at our feet, the strongest argument for the implementation of a Democratic mandate, in decades. A clear chance to reclaim the White House in the name of the American people, and an opportunity to re-write our history on the world stage. And what have you, our candidates, done with this opening? You have, in affect, turned this campaign season into a political equivalent of an ‘Animal House’ style food fight. Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner couldn’t have provided the late night comedians with material, making the Party look any more foolish. Admittedly, you have had help up and down the Party rankings, but none the less, you bear the brunt of the recrimination.”
Sam continues, “My decision will be as follows:
“Hillary, you will be relegated to the Senate leadership posting, since Senator Reid has been gelded by the Republicans. Your derisive abilities would be better utilized when directed at the opposition. Happy hunting.”
“Barack, inspirational you are, unassailable you’re not. Your campaign, though initially well run, has developed more kinks than a $1.98 garden hose, thanks primarily to the machinations of your Democratic rival, and the fact you had so much trouble getting your campaign ship ‘Wrighted.'”
“Now, for the climactic moment: who, you must be asking yourselves, will be our ‘Moses’? I take this moment to proudly present to you, former North Carolina Senator, Johnny Reid Edwar…”
BBBDDDDDDDDRing!!!!! BBBDDDDDDDDRing!!!!! BBBDDDDDDDDRing!!!!!
Damned alarm clock !
I can dream, can’t I? That may be all I can do.
John Santomasso is a political radio talk show host in Tampa, Florida. He has been called the “better half of Rush Limbaugh’s brain – the half tied behind his back.” E-mail John at: firstname.lastname@example.org. ?