Charlie’s Mea Culpa

As the people’s governor, I’ve been very busy. Not busy being governor, but being busy running around the state of Florida – a beautiful state full of nice people who own homes that aren’t worth half of what they paid for them – running for the U.S. Senate.

What Charlie Could Say To Win Back Voters

By Chris Ingram

Dear Fellow Floridian:

As the people’s governor, I’ve been very busy. Not busy being governor, but being busy running around the state of Florida – a beautiful state full of nice people who own homes that aren’t worth half of what they paid for them – campaigning for the U.S. Senate.

Let me tell you, running for the Senate is a full-time job and this fella’ Rubio is on my heels.

So when the newspapers report about how I’ve taken the equivalent of ten weeks (50 days) off, I say “hogwash.” I want to be the people’s senator and that’s what the people want me to do – I know because my pollster told me so.  And mind you, facts and records like those about how much time off I’ve taken are important things but the liberal media has it out for me. Plus (what the liberal media doesn’t tell you) a lot of those days I was off I was actually working on my tan which is good for Florida in two ways. First, it benefits tourism by sending a message of “come to Florida and get a tan like me” and second it benefits the economy because tanning booths use power and using power helps power companies. So while this letter is all about apologizing for my lack of leadership, in this case I deserve a pat on the back.

Charlie Crist embraces Barack Obama and his $787 deficit spending plan your children will have to pay for.
Charlie Crist embraces Barack Obama and his $787 deficit spending plan your children will have to pay for. Photo: UPI.

 

But there are other serious issues that I would like to explain. I hope you will forgive me because the list is long. And I hope you will forget that my lack of leadership caused much of the mess we’re in. And I beg you, really, really beg you to forgive me because I wanna’ go to the U.S. Senate so bad I could pee. Continue reading “Charlie’s Mea Culpa”

Is Marco Rubio the new Katherine Harris?

Charlie Crist is hoping so…

By Jamie Miller

A standing ovation.

The speaker leaves the podium to much adulation and the audience mobs the candidate for pictures, handshakes and words of encouragement.  The candidate is taken aback by how long it takes to get on the road to the next appointment.

This could describe a campaign event for Marco Rubio or Katherine Harris.  Conservatives have seen this story played out.  No it isn’t a thriller or a comedy but a tragedy in the making.  A bright, young politician takes on the “the establishment” for the future of the party only to have voters make the determination. Continue reading “Is Marco Rubio the new Katherine Harris?”

The Water Cooler: Crist, Obama’s Nobel Prize, the national debt

So we all woke up this morning and heard Barack Hussein Obama won the Nobel prize for Peace. He is now among 4 U.S. president’s to win this award (Carter was the most recent). Sure it’s rigged and run by a bunch of liberal brie cheese eating Europeans but that’s not the problem I have — though I do prefer people who consume Cheese Whiz over brie eaters.

An occasional look at what people are talking about in politics

By Chris Ingram

So we all woke up this morning and heard Barack Hussein Obama won the Nobel Prize for Peace. He is now among 4 U.S. presidents to win this award (Jimmy Carter being the most recent). Sure it’s rigged and run by a bunch of liberal, brie cheese eating, Europeans, but that’s not the problem I have — though I do prefer people who consume Cheese Whiz over brie eaters. No, the problem is the nominations for this “honor” closed about two weeks after BHO was sworn in as president. Continue reading “The Water Cooler: Crist, Obama’s Nobel Prize, the national debt”

If Charlie Crist told the truth…

I got a fundraising e-mail from Charlie Crist the other day. It was a pretty good hoot the way Charlie “have it two ways” Crist is trying to paint himself as a Conservative. But hey, he’s starting to show some bravado – he’s even got the nerve to quote Ronald Reagan!

His recent fundraising letter would look like this

By Chris Ingram

I got a fundraising e-mail from Charlie Crist the other day. It was a pretty good hoot the way Charlie “have it two ways” Crist is trying to paint himself as a Conservative. But hey, he’s starting to show some bravado – he’s even got the nerve to quote Ronald Reagan!

Each paragraph of Chuckles’ original letter is shown below along with my version of what his letter would read like if he were to tell the truth.

What it should have said is in italics:

Dear Friends,

The fundraising quarter is coming to a close and there are just 9 hours left to join the winning team. I am working hard to raise the resources necessary to earn the privilege of representing the people of Florida in Washington, DC, and I humbly ask you to join us by supporting the Crist for Senate campaign. You can visit Charlie Crist.com right now to make a contribution of $10, $25, $50 or even $100 – whatever you can afford. 
 
Dear Fools and Idiots:

There isn’t much time left for me to continuously and shamelessly shake-down voters across this mess of a state. I’ve worked so hard raising money I almost forgot I am supposed to be the governor! Why I’m so darned shameless, I even had a huge fundraiser on September 11th. Victims, shmictims — I’ve got a campaign to fund. Send me some money now and I’ll think about doing something ‘touchy feely’ on the tenth anniversary when the media is really focusing on it. Next year is an election year, so it’ll have to wait until 10. I know times are hard, but tap into your kids’ college fund if you have to, this campaign is going to cost a lot of coin. Continue reading “If Charlie Crist told the truth…”