Twas the night before Election Day

By Chris Ingram

‘Twas the night before Election Day
when all through the state
Charlie’s poll numbers were moving
but was it too late?

The prognosticators were predicting
on the Buzz and Fox News
That Charlie’s Senate hopes
were giving him the blues

The voters were thinking
about all of the Obama debt
Signing on to the stimulus
would be Charlie’s biggest regret

With Carol in her negligee
and Charlie in his Speedos
He looked like Pinocchio
with his really long nose

When out on the beach
in front of his rented condo
Chuckie sprang from his couch
to see his old friend Jimbo

His state party chairman
is what would appear
All tubby and incompetent
it was certainly Greer

With a little old driver
chauffeuring him in a new Cadillac
Charlie knew in a moment
he should feed him a snack

Faster than Rubio’s rise
his do-boys they came
And he snapped his fingers
and he called them by name

“Now Fasano! Now Limeux!
Now Atwater and Cretul!
On Pruitt! On McCollum!
On Adkins you fool!”

“To the top of the polls
to the top of the Congressional halls!
Now, dash away! Dash away!
fools you are, all!”

And then, in a twinkling
he heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing
of Fasano’s hoof

As Charlie lay in his tanning bed
and was turning around
Down the chimney Jim Greer
came with a bound

He was dressed like a goon
like some two-bit thug
And his reputation was all tarnished
like a cockroach bug

His eyes were so sullen
his dimples – so flat
His cheeks were like muffins
his nose like a rat

His droll little presence
made Charlie laugh
And he knew it wouldn’t be long
before Greer made his next gaff

He had a broad grin
as Charlie talked of the traitors
“We’ll purge Allen Cox
and feed him to gators”

Greer spoke not a word,
but went straight to his work
Then he told his new intern
she was a really big jerk

And then he recounted
all the moneys misspent
And then off in his limo
to Dunkin Donuts he went

Then he sprang to his Gulfstream
his staff carried his bag
And the governor lay there knowing
the grassroots would gag

Then he heard him exclaim,
as the jet began to depart
“I’m still the party chairman,
with whom Charlie won’t part!”

Chris Ingram is the president and founder of 411 Communications a corporate and political communications firm, and publisher of Ingram is a frequent pundit on Fox News and CNN, and has written opinion columns for the Washington Times, UPI, Front Page Florida, and National Review online. E-mail him at:

3 thoughts on “Twas the night before Election Day”

  1. Hello Chris,
    This is the Brit who recently became a naturalized US citizen.

    As a (now) voter, a crash course in American Political History was in order, and 20 months of research have revealed some startling facts about “behind the political scenes” activities.

    Here is a brief summary of my findings;

    Both political parties receive their directives from the same ENTITY.

    This ENTITY planned, executed and ratified the Federal Reserve Bill in 1913. Woodrow Wilson realized his folly too late. (Research Colonel House for that story.)

    96 years later the second disasterous event is being implemented by the same ENTITY using the same devious tactics to underhandedly pass the Pelosi/Reid/Obamacare nightmare Bill.

    Both events were concocted behind closed doors and during a holiday break when most people are distracted by family activities & festivities.
    Thus,while WE are being distacted with petty partisan bickering and name calling, THEY can continue with THEIR agenda undisturbed. This is nothing new since these distractions have been an essential element in their strategy for decades. Chris, this is just the tip of the iceberg and since it is not possible at this time to share the rest of my findings,I will hasten to add that my research data can be verifed and fully substantiated.
    Nice poetry, good humor… but Charlie Christ is not worth all that attention.



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