Democrats call for ban on…

Speaking from the floor of the House of Representatives on Thursday, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said she would introduce an immediate emergency ban of pressure cooker and slow cooker sales. Pelosi believes such a ban would be legal under Article 1, Section 8, Clause 3 of the United States Constitution.

By Chris Ingram

Satire

Retail stores nationwide reported a run on pressure cookers and slow cookers (Crock-Pots), following plans by congressional Democrats and the White House to ban sales of the small appliances following Monday’s tragic bombing in Boston in which pressure cookers were the weapon of choice. The FBI found remnants of a cooker they believe was filled with nails and packed with explosives. The bombing killed three people.

Speaking from the floor of the House of Representatives on Thursday, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said she would introduce an immediate emergency ban of pressure cooker and slow cooker sales. Pelosi believes such a ban would be legal under Article 1, Section 8, Clause 3 of the United States Constitution.

“The Commerce Clause provides wide latitude for the government to regulate dangerous weapons such as these. We are working with Senate Democrats and the president to ensure these weapons of civil destruction don’t end up in the wrong hands,” Pelosi said.

As he took a drag on a cigarette while walking into a tanning salon on Capitol Hill, House Speaker John Boehner mused, “Pressure cookers and Crock-Pots Continue reading “Democrats call for ban on…”

Committed to Crist, or should Crist be committed?

Make no mistake, Crist once was a real threat. Then Republicans showed him the door following the Jim Greer fiasco, and after his multiple flip-flops on lifelong conservative positions, not to mention the infamous hug.

By Chris Ingram

The Tampa Tribune

Published Sunday, April 7, 2013

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting-lodge wall on its back. So goes an old laugh line.

These days, Charlie Crist is the moose of Florida politics. He appears to be a threat for sure, though he is not threatening at all once you turn on the lights and see the hunting-lodge wall on his back.

Make no mistake, Crist once was a real threat. Then Republicans showed him the door following the Jim Greer fiasco, and after his multiple flip-flops on lifelong conservative positions, not to mention the infamous hug.

Today, Crist and his smiling face, with his perfectly coiffed silver hair, glows on billboards for ubiquitous trial lawyer John Morgan. Crist now works for Morgan’s law firm. His mug frequently replaces Morgan’s on TV, allowing Crist to maintain a high profile as he pitches being Continue reading “Committed to Crist, or should Crist be committed?”

Gov. Scott set to resign today at noon

Florida Governor Rick Scott’s office announced the governor will hold a news conference today to inform the public that he be resigning effective immediatey.

Scott’s press spokesman Oliver Klozoff told the Tallahassee press corp that Scott, “wants more time to be with his family.”

By U. Ben Had

Florida Governor Rick Scott’s office announced the governor will hold a news conference today to inform the public that he will be resigning effective immediately.

Scott’s press spokesman Oliver Klozoff told the Tallahassee press corp that Scott, “wants more time to be with his family.”

However, another source indicated Scott Continue reading “Gov. Scott set to resign today at noon”