The Tampa Tribune, Wednseday, December 25, 2013
By Chris Ingram
If you have children younger than 10 years old in your house, chances are you are familiar with the “Elf on the Shelf” — the storybook that comes with a 10-inch elf doll.
The quick summary of the story is: The elf arrives around Thanksgiving and watches the kids in your home. Every night after they go to bed, he flies back to the North Pole to report to Santa whether they have been naughty or nice. Before they awake in the morning, he returns and perches himself in a different place in your house. There is only one rule: The elf cannot be touched.
This is all fine and dandy fun for the kids, but it’s no cake walk for parents who now have an additional task to do at bedtime. Namely: Don’t forget to move the elf to his new spot in the house before going to bed.
A few days ago, we forgot to move our elf. Our twins, Mia and Jordyn (ages 7), woke up to find him where he had been the night before. The girls were concerned that he was sick, but I quickly assured them he hadn’t moved because Casey, their older sister, had been at Girl Scout camp, and he didn’t want to move while Casey was gone.
Another morning, Jordyn accidentally knocked him from his perch, and he fell on the floor. She cried so hard you would have thought the apocalypse was coming. After 20 minutes of tears, I told her that once we all left the house, the elf would reposition himself. She was only certain she hadn’t killed the little guy when she returned home from school to find him off the floor and back in his previous spot.
Apparently near-elf death is not a phenomenon unique to my house.
Chris Ingram is the president and founder of 411 Communications a corporate and political communications firm, and publisher of Irreverent View. Ingram is a frequent pundit on Fox News and CNN, and has written opinion columns for the Washington Times, UPI, and National Review online. He is the Republican political analyst for Bay News 9, the only 24 hour all news channel in Florida’s largest media market. The opinions expressed here are those of author and do not represent the views of Bay News 9. E-mail him at: Chris@IrreverentView.com.
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