Tampa politics: A-Rod for mayor?

Candidates real and imagined abound to replace Tampa Mayor Bob Buckhorn. See who has a real shot at winning.

By Chris Ingram

Affable and competent Tampa Mayor Bob Buckhorn is term-limited from running for re-election to a third consecutive term as mayor. Mayor Bob was long-speculated to run for governor in 2018, but doubled down on Hillary Clinton’s run for the Oval Office with hopes of landing a plumb assignment as Ambassador to Ireland or the Vatican (both naturals for this Lucky Charms eating Catholic).

As we all know, Buckhorn’s bet went to the house, and Donald Trump is in the White House and ol’ Bob is left to ponder what could’ve been, and what to do next.

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Lesson learned: Win first. Measure for drapes second.

Buckhorn’s dilemma is the last thing on the minds of several aspiring pols who would like to replace him.

The list of aspiring Gasparilla-keepers is longer than complaints about the lack of crosswalks across Bayshore Blvd., or potholes across city roadways. Still, political ladder climbers abound, and someone will get the job that pays $151,507 per year and comes with a dedicated Tampa Police officer for guard duty. That sounds good, maybe I will run.

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A ubiquitous Tampa pothole.

Earlier this week, one of the mayoral aspirants paid a polling company more money than it was worth to test a “sample ballot” of some of the potential candidates. The poll asked voters from a list of likely mayoral wannabes which one they liked best, if the election for mayor of Tampa were held today. For the record, it’s not being held today – or this year for that matter; in fact, it’s not even being held next year. The Tampa mayoral election will be in March 2019. Yeah. March 2019. That’s about 20 months from now, hence this poll being a waste of money. But alas, politicians with more money than brains like polls that tell them how good their sample ballot numbers are and how high their name I.D. is – unless they aren’t.

The wasteful survey gave the option to “vote” in the poll for one of six hopefuls which the geniuses behind the poll (and the unnamed candidate who paid for it) thought should top the list. The options were given in the order that follows – even though actual voter ballots list candidates alphabetically: former State Rep. Ed Narain, former Tampa Police Chief Jane Castor, City Councilman Mike Suarez, Councilman Harry Cohen, architect Mickey Jacobs, and former County Commissioner Ed Turanchik.

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Ten bucks you have no idea who this guy is.

It is worth noting, all of the candidates are Democrats with the exception of Jacobs (though the race is officially non-partisan, the last Republican to serve was Bob Martinez who changed parties from Democrat to Republican while in office). It is also worth pointing out that I know five of the six candidates (all but Jacobs). That doesn’t bode well for him, because I am a Republican. I also live in Tampa. If a Republican is to have a chance at winning a seat on the lowly but powerful pothole review board, much less mayor of Tampa, he needs every Republican in the city to vote for him; and even then, he doesn’t have much of a chance.

So we can start this ill-conceived survey by eliminating Jacobs from the list of real contenders.

But before analyzing the viability of the rest of the so-called field, it’s also important to consider who is missing from the list. Those names include: Councilwoman Yoli Capin; Hillsborough Commissioner Ken Hagan (who doesn’t even live in the city); author and professional speaker Topher Morrison; and I’ll throw in lawyer and state legislative candidate Bob Buesing because I like him (and he bought me breakfast a few months ago, and I can be bought for a $9.99 omelet and cup of coffee at First Watch). Oh! And last but not least, don’t forget about former MLBA player Alex Rodriguez; he is on the list because I needed a catchy title to this column to get morons who don’t care about politics and government to read it. Welcome morons! 

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A-Rod: “You want me to run for what?”

So let’s look at who the poll’s puppet masters think is “in” and dissect them.

Of the five legitimate candidates, I like all but one of them (and I am not saying who the one I don’t like is, but if any of the them take me out to Datz for lunch I will tell them it wasn’t them).  In fact, some of the candidates I believe are, or would be fine public servants – in a self-serving, unaccomplished, egotistical, political ladder-climbing sort of way. I used to fondly think the same way about Marco Rubio. Today I see him as worse than termite dust (which I currently have in my house causing me to think Rubio may actually be better than termite dust), but that’s another column.

So here are the five analyzed:

Ed Narain – Ed is extremely likeable, is smart, has decent name ID in parts of the city, and (unlike Marco Rubio), he has a day job (albeit government related) working for a large telecom company as a lobbyist or something. Ed is a family man with really cute kids, and he has a good heart and good intentions. He would make a fine mayor. He barely lost his race to the state senate against Darryl Rouson last year. To win the mayoral race, he’s going to need to expand his name I.D., and become known as more than just “the black candidate.” If he plays his cards right, he can probably do it, but it’s going to be a challenge. Joining a Rotary Club would certainly help him in this endeavor.

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Former state Rep. Ed Narain and family.

Jane Castor – Jane probably knows the streets of Tampa better than the guy who paved them. She served for decades as an officer with TPD, and retired a few years ago as the city’s police chief. By most accounts she did a great job as chief, but she has a few scandals under her belt to explain, including the set-up of a DUI of a lawyer in the Bubba the Love Sponge case by one of her officers, as well as the whole issue of “ticketing while black” of the city’s black bicycle riders.  She’ll get past all that, but being on defense isn’t how you want to start your campaign. Castor would be the city’s first openly gay mayor (ensuring her getting the endorsement of the liberal mullet wrapper Tampa Bay Times), even though ironically she was a Republican until just about two years ago. Thanks a lot Ana!

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Former TPD Chief Jane Castor is a familiar face.

Mike Suarez – I like to kid Mike that he is Bob Buckhorn’s “Minnie me.” I’m not sure Mike likes that comparison, but I’d take it to the bank if I were him. I would also take his hair. I am mostly bald. Mike is not. I would kill for his perfectly coifed hair if I cared about having hair. Speaking of grooming, Suarez has groomed himself to be mayor. Like Buckhorn, he is affable, and that matters more than smarts in politics because voters are really shallow and stupid (see Donald Trump). He will likely present himself as an extension of the good times (less all the potholes and police scandals) of the Buckhorn administration. Like Mayor Bob, Suarez won’t embarrass the city, but he’s not exactly going to be a dynamic visionary leader either, and at the end of his term, Tampa will most likely still be riddled with potholes and flooded streets. It could be worse.

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Good natured and good hair, Councilman Mike Suarez is Buchkhorn, Jr.

Harry Cohen – Of the six candidates whom I know, I know Harry the least. Like others, he’s got good grey matter, and a grasp of the issues, but he’s not exactly the most mesmerizing candidate you ever met. But hey, neither was Pam Iorio and she did a great job as mayor of Tampa. Still, voters don’t want smart, they want fun and likable. Don’t believe me? Remember Bill Clinton beat George H.W. Bush. WTF! But in a multi-candidate race, Cohen could be a consensus builder and sneak to victory.

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Councilman Harry Cohen could be consensus candidate.

Ed Turanchik – Of all the candidates with smarts, Ed is the most cerebral. He knows transportation like it’s his job, and I would imagine he also has the best grasp on where to get the finest vegan and gluten-free green smoothie in the city. While that sits well with Tampa’s liberal elite, and all the fools out there who think they have a gluten allergy (doctors say less than 1 percent of the population is actually allergic to gluten, but you wouldn’t know that by looking at all the over-priced gluten-free options at swanky south Tampa restaurant menus), it might not sit well with the just-slightly left-of-center Tampa voters. Thus, it doesn’t bode well for Turanchik’s prospects that he’s more Bernie Sanders than Joe Biden. Choo! Choo!

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Former Hills. Commissioner Ed Turanchik needs to share his vision beyond rail.

So there you have it, my official analysis of the unofficial candidates for Mayor of Tampa. May the best candidate win – announced, unannounced, or pie in the sky wishful thinking rumor mongering for someone else to get in it by people like me.

Go A-rod!

Chris Ingram is a political consultant, media personality, columnist, and political analyst for Bay News 9. Follow him on Twitter at: @IrreverentView. 

 

A tale of two Tweeters

I didn’t find any embarrassing or controversial tweets from Charlie, though I’m sure he deleted all the ones from back in the day he may have sent to @JimGreerRPOFChair. Perhaps one like this: “meet u 4 pancakes 2 plan next donor meeting?” or, “Rubio is such a twerp! He’ll scream uncle when AMEX records come out!”

By Chris Ingram

The Tampa Tribune, September 19, 2013

Twitter, the Internet platform where users send brief “tweets” of 160 or fewer characters is part of the social media rage and is frequently used by politicians and elected officials. I recently took a look at the Twitter accounts of Gov. Rick Scott (@FLGovScott) and former Gov. Charlie Crist (@CharlieCristFL) to compare the two likely opponents in next year’s race for governor and to analyze what their accounts say about them.

Although he’s been posting since 2010, Crist is an infrequent user of Twitter except around election time. Crist has just 169 tweets, he follows a mere 146 other Tweeters, and has 12,788 Tweeters who follow him.

I didn’t find any embarrassing or controversial tweets from Charlie, though I’m sure he deleted all the ones from back in the day he may have sent to @JimGreerRPOFChair. Perhaps one like this: Continue reading “A tale of two Tweeters”

Reflections by Florida’s senior Republican statesman

The “other side,” as Martinez refers to the Democrats, is very adept at playing politics with important issues. He points to the sequester as a prime example. Initiated by Democrats, they then turned around and pointed the finger at the Republican-controlled House of Representatives as being the villains for the forced spending cuts — which Martinez accurately points out are just cuts in the rate of growth, not really cuts in total spending, which continues to increase.

By Chris Ingram

The Tampa Tribune

After serving as mayor of Tampa for six years, Bob Martinez resigned to run for governor in 1986. The former Democrat became Florida’s first Republican governor in 16 years but lost his re-election bid four years later following the state’s controversial attempt at implementing a tax on services — a measure the Legislature passed but quickly repealed.

He later served for nearly two years as the nation’s “Drug Czar” under President George H.W. Bush. Since then, Martinez, who has always maintained residency in Tampa, has kept an active but mostly behind the scenes profile in Florida political circles.

I recently sat down with the former governor in the offices of the law firm where he works as a lobbyist to talk about his life in politics, his legacy and issues facing the Republican Party and the country.

We start out talking about the national political environment and the major issues facing our country — most notably the national debt and government spending.

“Since the federal government doesn’t have to balance the budget, they have the ability to just kick the can. Every time they kick the can, after a while voters stop listening,” he says.

Economic and budgetary issues are hard to explain, and are far removed from people’s lives — or so they think, Martinez says. Explaining them is “… complicated because there is no sound-bite answer.”

The “other side,” as Martinez refers to the Democrats, is very Continue reading “Reflections by Florida’s senior Republican statesman”

Marco and the Road Runner

Just how different the concerns and interests of Cubans compared to Mexicans are is evident in how differently they are treated by our government.

The so-called “wet-foot, dry-foot” immigration policy of the United States is a perfect example. It says any Cuban who illegally enters the country and sets their foot on dry land is automatically entitled to a fast track to permanent residency.

 By Chris Ingram

The Tampa Tribune
May 18, 2013

Having Sen. Marco Rubio as the champion of the immigration reform bill Congress is considering is akin to asking the Road Runner to be in charge of speed limits. Here’s why: Rubio is Cuban. Being Cuban means he is Hispanic. Republicans have a huge problem in appealing to Hispanics. Ergo, Rubio is the savior of the party who will help it win the Hispanic vote.

Problem is, although Rubio is Continue reading “Marco and the Road Runner”

Committed to Crist, or should Crist be committed?

Make no mistake, Crist once was a real threat. Then Republicans showed him the door following the Jim Greer fiasco, and after his multiple flip-flops on lifelong conservative positions, not to mention the infamous hug.

By Chris Ingram

The Tampa Tribune

Published Sunday, April 7, 2013

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting-lodge wall on its back. So goes an old laugh line.

These days, Charlie Crist is the moose of Florida politics. He appears to be a threat for sure, though he is not threatening at all once you turn on the lights and see the hunting-lodge wall on his back.

Make no mistake, Crist once was a real threat. Then Republicans showed him the door following the Jim Greer fiasco, and after his multiple flip-flops on lifelong conservative positions, not to mention the infamous hug.

Today, Crist and his smiling face, with his perfectly coiffed silver hair, glows on billboards for ubiquitous trial lawyer John Morgan. Crist now works for Morgan’s law firm. His mug frequently replaces Morgan’s on TV, allowing Crist to maintain a high profile as he pitches being Continue reading “Committed to Crist, or should Crist be committed?”

Short on minority outreach

Nationwide, GOP efforts at minority outreach tend to fall flat. The party’s idea of grassroots outreach usually means sending out press releases touting their efforts which usually amount to occasionally hiring a black or Hispanic to go into those respective communities to recruit voters. The GOP’s paltry attempts bear little fruit because all they are doing is watering the lawn when what they need to do is irrigate the field and cover it with a heavy dose of fertilizer.

By Chris Ingram

The Tampa Tribune

Published Saturday, September 8, 2012

At the Republican National Convention in Tampa convention planners strived to fill the podium with minority speakers who would make the party’s case that the GOP represents their interests. By all accounts the effort from the podium was a success. But on the convention floor, the gathering of delegates looked more like a country club gathering of whites rather than an inclusive party made up of diverse racial and ethnic groups.

Black and Hispanic delegates were few and far between; the Washington Post reported that just 2 percent of GOP delegates at the RNC were “people of color” — compared to 40 percent at the DNC.

The Republican Party has a lot of work to do.

Nationwide, GOP efforts at minority outreach tend to fall flat. The party’s idea of grassroots outreach usually means sending out press releases touting their efforts which usually amount to occasionally hiring a black or Hispanic to go into those respective communities to recruit voters. The GOP’s paltry attempts bear little fruit because Continue reading “Short on minority outreach”

RNC Monday update

Among the Florida delegation, the buzz is all about “Toucan” Charlie Crist’s announcement of what we already know: he loves Barack Obama. Yesterday, Too Tan Charlie announced he was endorsing Barack Obama — duh! That was followed by a DNC announcement that the tan man would speak at the Democrats’ convention next week, which they should be calling Chuckles’ homecoming.

By Chris Ingram

The Forum is ready, Isaac is going to pass (but give us a lot of rain), and the Committee on Arrangements has rescheduled Monday’s events with a new schedule to get Mitt Romney nominated.

Heavy rains are expected to continue today throughout the Tampa Bay area and local schools and many businesses are closed. Delegates and members of the media, as well as Moms and dads with kids unexpectedly home from school, and other locals throughout the area may be scratching their heads at today’s closings due to Isaac, but as long-term residents know, a big storm can turn on a dime. RNC and government officials decided to err on the side of caution.

As they say in Vaudeville the show must go on.

And it does.

Marco Rubio speaks to the Florida delegation at the Innisbrook Resort in Palm Harbor today at 8:00 a.m., sponsored by American Express (just kidding).

Among the Florida delegation, the buzz is all about “Toucan” Charlie Crist’s announcement of what we already know: he loves Barack Obama. Yesterday, Too Tan Charlie announced he was endorsing Barack Obama — duh! That was followed by a DNC announcement that the tan man would speak at the Democrats’ convention next week, which they should be calling Chuckles’ homecoming.

Too Tan Toucan Charlie

Other activities include the opening and quick recess of the day’s session at 2:00 p.m., as well as the start of protests downtown with up to 5,000 expected — at least Continue reading “RNC Monday update”