Democrats call for ban on…

Speaking from the floor of the House of Representatives on Thursday, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said she would introduce an immediate emergency ban of pressure cooker and slow cooker sales. Pelosi believes such a ban would be legal under Article 1, Section 8, Clause 3 of the United States Constitution.

By Chris Ingram

Satire

Retail stores nationwide reported a run on pressure cookers and slow cookers (Crock-Pots), following plans by congressional Democrats and the White House to ban sales of the small appliances following Monday’s tragic bombing in Boston in which pressure cookers were the weapon of choice. The FBI found remnants of a cooker they believe was filled with nails and packed with explosives. The bombing killed three people.

Speaking from the floor of the House of Representatives on Thursday, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said she would introduce an immediate emergency ban of pressure cooker and slow cooker sales. Pelosi believes such a ban would be legal under Article 1, Section 8, Clause 3 of the United States Constitution.

“The Commerce Clause provides wide latitude for the government to regulate dangerous weapons such as these. We are working with Senate Democrats and the president to ensure these weapons of civil destruction don’t end up in the wrong hands,” Pelosi said.

As he took a drag on a cigarette while walking into a tanning salon on Capitol Hill, House Speaker John Boehner mused, “Pressure cookers and Crock-Pots Continue reading “Democrats call for ban on…”

Watch your wallet, Barack Obama is in the room

Suddenly, Obama thinks fiscal stewardship, responsible government, and controlled spending are a bright idea. He’s full of the stuff that line a baby’s diaper, but hey, he’s giving it a shot – which is more than George W. Bush ever did (to my Bush defending friends please send hate mail to: openyoureyesandpayattentiontorealityandquitdrinkingtheRNCkool-aid@biteme.org)

Republicans will steal from you too, so don’t feel too confident around GOPers either

By Chris Ingram

Facing dwindling poll numbers following the Obama-care fiasco, President Obama is now attempting to fool Americans into believing his Number One concern is jobs and the economy – as opposed to socialism and a government take-over of 1/5th of our economy. O-say-anything-Bama is also touting his concern over the federal debt – which is the Number One peril facing America’s future and its children.

Suddenly, Obama thinks fiscal stewardship, responsible government, and controlled spending are a bright idea. Of course, he’s full of Continue reading “Watch your wallet, Barack Obama is in the room”

If Charlie Crist told the truth…

I got a fundraising e-mail from Charlie Crist the other day. It was a pretty good hoot the way Charlie “have it two ways” Crist is trying to paint himself as a Conservative. But hey, he’s starting to show some bravado – he’s even got the nerve to quote Ronald Reagan!

His recent fundraising letter would look like this

By Chris Ingram

I got a fundraising e-mail from Charlie Crist the other day. It was a pretty good hoot the way Charlie “have it two ways” Crist is trying to paint himself as a Conservative. But hey, he’s starting to show some bravado – he’s even got the nerve to quote Ronald Reagan!

Each paragraph of Chuckles’ original letter is shown below along with my version of what his letter would read like if he were to tell the truth.

What it should have said is in italics:

Dear Friends,

The fundraising quarter is coming to a close and there are just 9 hours left to join the winning team. I am working hard to raise the resources necessary to earn the privilege of representing the people of Florida in Washington, DC, and I humbly ask you to join us by supporting the Crist for Senate campaign. You can visit Charlie Crist.com right now to make a contribution of $10, $25, $50 or even $100 – whatever you can afford. 
 
Dear Fools and Idiots:

There isn’t much time left for me to continuously and shamelessly shake-down voters across this mess of a state. I’ve worked so hard raising money I almost forgot I am supposed to be the governor! Why I’m so darned shameless, I even had a huge fundraiser on September 11th. Victims, shmictims — I’ve got a campaign to fund. Send me some money now and I’ll think about doing something ‘touchy feely’ on the tenth anniversary when the media is really focusing on it. Next year is an election year, so it’ll have to wait until 10. I know times are hard, but tap into your kids’ college fund if you have to, this campaign is going to cost a lot of coin. Continue reading “If Charlie Crist told the truth…”

Top 10 List

Another presidential election has come and gone. The endless campaign rhetoric, primaries, conventions, and debates have shifted from current events and are now a part of history as the Obama administration positions itself to take control of the executive branch of the United States government. Here are a few observations about the 2008 election:

Election 2008

By Michael A. Matteo

Another presidential election has come and gone.  The endless campaign rhetoric, primaries, conventions, and debates have shifted from current events and are now a part of history as the Obama administration positions itself to take control of the executive branch of the United States government. Here are a few observations about the 2008 election:

1. Guilt by presidential party association with an unpopular president is far more significant (and detrimental) than guilt of being a member of a party that rules the legislative branch (Congress) and is, thus, responsible for fiscal policy.  Republicans were never able to get the electorate to understand that Continue reading “Top 10 List”

The Polls Are Not Wrong Today

What we are likely to see with “Double-Digit” Barack are Double-D inflation, unemployment, and interest rates all at, or about the third year of the first four years of the Obama administration. What many of us as kids, infants, or teenagers watched with the Carter Administration in the 70’s will pale in comparison to what we are about to experience.

“As New Hampshire goes, So Goes the Nation”

By Mark Smith

Exit polls in New Hampshire in two small towns have begun the trend today that will elect Barack Obama the 44th President of the United States. In double digit votes beginning at midnight today, Obama came ahead of John McCain and Ron Paul.

What we are likely to see with “Double-Digit” Barack are Double-D inflation, unemployment, and interest rates all at, or about the third year Continue reading “The Polls Are Not Wrong Today”